29/04/09..a 1001 story

ok..this story is really2 important to you among all others blog..
this date is the most crucial date ever between me and dani
.......................
the story is
-ok..my besday is on 30/4/1985
dani remember my besday n book me awal tok celbrate sme2
tok pengetahuan smue...no one has ever been book me!!!
of course, i really appreciate it
................
sebelom kitorng kuar on29/4
there was a lot of miscommunication between me n dani
first
1) i thought he likes me!
2) i thought he would propose as a girlfren on that day (perasan tak?)
.........but neither of the thing happen at that night..
so its very relief news to me..that dier mmg anngap ak mcm kwan
best fren.,....???
...................
i want to cter one by one
the most romantic besday celeb with dani
...
mse sampe umah dier...hujan..then dier amik payung and teman ak sampe pintu keta dier supaya
ak tak kena hujan..sooo sweet
n dier bawak ak mkn kena rogger..tp sebelum tu beli kek kat secret recipe...
kitorng borak2 dri kul 4-630 ptg..
thn tgk wayg cter
"he just not that into you"
well, mmg kena la ngan situasi ak n dani
"he just not that into you n ak perasan
...........
after abis tgk wyg..dlm area 1030, aku ingatkan dier nak antar ak balik
tp..rupennye
dier nak g mkn kat kopitiam klcc
ak mcm shock la
sebab ingatkan nak balik trus
honeslty..ak agak bosan kuar ngan dier aritu
coz...ntahla...dier asyik cter psal ex-bf dier jerr
of course..ak mcm sakit hati
.....................
then..something miracle happen
when i was kat klcc
we eat at this kopitiam n luckily tempat yg kitorng duduk tu
ialah tempat yg sme mse first date ak n dani
.....................
well, we talk a lot and that time
very sweet
n at that time, i realize..dani is juz fren to me
he likes me...but as fren
it shown on that time,that moment and..................
i feel like...ok..........i can accept it'
i just a fren to dani
not more than that.
and i dah honestly trus terang kat dier
yg ak ader penyakit
n he seem shock but i dont care
its true that i have disease
n i feel relief to let him know
so,that,i can feel in the bottom of my hear



DANI IS JUST MY FREN

........
and the last mesej i rved frm dani

" now u better take some rest. i will catch up on tmwrw evening at opis
to be honest, i feel great being with u on your special day"

that all, mesej that he send to me
anyway..dani
thanks
..............
IM CLEARLY CAN ACCEPT NOW
IM JUST UR FREN
TQ

how weird girls are sumtimes

honestly
there so one weirdo things bout me..to epress my feeling or to have his attention
first example

me : (looking at the mirror )"oh dani...macam muker cikgu la i arini..skema btul baju i
menyesal i pkai bju dani
-actually at that time, i want u to puji me....i hpe you would said
eg : wel mas, u look beautiful today..no worries,ill still like u and u look gergous

but somehow this is the ans i get

dani : ala..dah dah la tu....takyah la tgk cermin


c...how man being so mean

second example

me : ohh..i like that muvie...kan dani...(dgn muke mengharap) mesti romantik kan
=actually at that time, i hope dani would say

eg: well, nnti kiter g sme2 ek

but honestly, what i get is

dani: keep silent (no reply)

whAT!!! TAK CKP hint lagi ker

lelaki tetap lelaki
dilahirkan takde perasaan
eventhough, u tak ske orng tu
but at least, show sum respect

the new Me

well..after went through all the period of craziness
i can conclude (well at least to be more a safe side)
1) HE JUST not THAT INTO U OR AK PERASAN LA
2) MYBE HES JUZ PLAY AROUND WIT ME..to hilangkan rse bosan dier
3) i put hope into our relationship, (that suposely will not happen ever again)..i hope :(

well...i honestly dont want to put myself : perigi cari timba"
actually,kalo ikutkan..dani yg bgtau ak..dier ske kat aku
well. mestila ak respon
............
well..damn..juz dont ever think about past
past is history n remain as it is
.......................

somehow...i know who i am rite now
if i like someone
i will do stupid things
im willing to do everythings to get his attention eventhough...
i thinks he dont deserved at all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
this is cal love?????
.............
this will not happen to me again
i want a guy that show n put a lot of effort to get my heart
-the situation with dani is ...i ajak dier kuar
-i will start mesej with him
-i will tegur dier kat facebook dulu
-i will ajak dier tgk wayng
-hwaaaa...
ok...,mas..plz be calm

for me..nothing wrong ajak dier kuar
but at least dani..plz show ur terima kasih n plz show that i have ego n maruah
................
arghhhh

its over

i think dani is just a part of my learing experience..
well..of course..i admit l like him
somehow..there is a big barier fr me to move on fr any rlionship
if i can break the barrier..if...if....if..
hmm...
...
well somehow..i feel really hurt of being rejected
rejected by dani....
there lot of hint..he reject me
like...he not even ask me out fr the past 2 week
and not even replying my mesej
..........
well
to be on positive side
he already mke as move to reject me
and i need la to understands la kot
maknenye ak kena do my part to "paham2 sendiri"
shitt
feel like shit
...............

Mas..Plz be RatioNal

mas.....
i was in diffrent mood in the past six months ago..
i am very independent, really know how to mke myself hepi
i love to eat...i will wear whatevr i know without ever thinking whether the combination of colour correct or not

but now....today..nowsday
i am very self-conscious...
arghhh..shit
i do not know,whther it is a positive things or nott....
hmmm..
its a girll things!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
susah sgt ker jadi pompuan nii
kenapa kami perlu merasai smue perasaan yg menyusahkan diri niiiiii
bosan laaaaaaa
we thought, we can handle all this freak emotional
but end up...rsenye macm down gle......

I Not BLame U danI

dani..
I knOW ..IM coMPlicated
I juz PUT U , IN the situoTIon..tHat My ComplicaTed feeLiNG towarD YOU..Is lIke a Burden TO YOU...
soryy

DaNi

24:03:2009
242 P.m
malaysian Time

danI...
a guy That really mke me FeeL like a GIrl
i mean...he such a romantic guys a with a very calm eyes that can make u melt
we ( i hpe i can say we) I....very blur with going out with him..
yes..i admit that I like Him....I really do...but as usual...i always keep myself in a very safe Position

dani is a great GUy....
I reallY Be my selF if i With HIm
but somehow....he is unpreditable
i do know whther it is a gender issue or not
BUt rite Now...i really2 take HIm as a part of my life..
so, someHow,,.i want to share evertHIng with hIm and unfortunately...i cant!!!
that thats really hurt...
..........................
that What I hate about a girl-guy relaTIonship
the sitution is...
on 23/03/09 around 11.59.. i Phone Him to share regarding my situation..bout swaPing my shift With sakinaH..n Im not mumBling about it....n its juz A topic....and he said...dont mumbling after i mke any decison...............
.
.
the truth is-at that time.. i feeL like...OH my god....dani!!!
that word reaLLY hurt me..BUt thanKs anyway..FR ur VEry supportive OPINIOn....
......
on the POsitive side
1) maybe after this,,,i kNow..whO gOING to Help Me leND his/heR ears at lEast to listeN TO MY tHOUGHT
2) And it also Not fair tO you aLso..that I have A HOpe fr U!!!!
3 ) I knoW U also Have BEEn on the diFFULT siTuation on That night

ohh danI

i have a dreaM BOUT you last nite
u left me....
u reject me
N .................
..
actuallY..Im thinking wayyy tooo much
dani...have no idea BOUT this...
i take This things seriousyLy
.......
my faULT..i guesss
ohh shittt


once agaIn...I been In the situatioN that My horMones Is killIng me.....last week...I was Like bLur...I was OverexciTed...extremelY craZy+I have nO idea...but today..Im glad..all Have been Back to nOrmal....IM in a Very positive Mood Fr Maybe A couple Of week Till My next Hormones TRIPs...so....The Next pLAn Im going to do...was TO throw Way MY hp...Coz it likes klling me............thanks a LoT to RidwaN because ReallY UnderstanD me...U know Lot Of mY secreT.....................EverythIng Happen LasT couple Of week...Is like a hISTORY TO ME..as ASual..im trying to be on a very positiVe side so, it wIll not influence MY lifesytle coz i know....THis Wil Meke mE COmfortable....